Feelings.

That feeling of losing your best friend, your love, your life, your everything, something you've worked on for 2 years.. that feeling of hopelessness.

That feeling of not being good enough, just a 16 year old, just a child, just a..friend...

May , 28 , 2013

I've been thinking a lot lately, about things ive heard, seen, all of that stuff..
Ive tried putting all the pieces together, but, they just don't add up..

It really makes me wonder...

May , 27 , 2013

Ughh, what do you have to be at a retreat, i want to make love with you..

May, 26 , 2013

Lets get in the fuck truck and take it all the way to pound town?... horny thought of the day.

May , 25 , 2013

Well this is shitty, considering we discussed this on thursday and never mentioned it...?

And know i fully realize that everytime we plan it or mention it, it always ends up not happening..
And you wonder why people say you won't touch me..

Why be a boyfriend anymore..

May , 24 , 2013

The hatred i have for every individual that crosses my path today is unbelievable..

Yup, your reaalllyyy showing it..

May, 23 , 2013

Writing my mother a letter is one of the hardest things i can do, not because she's stubborn or anything. But, because i don't know what to say, do i talk to her like my mom, an adult, or my bestfriend?. That's the problem itself, she's all 3.

That's the first time In 2 years youve got off the phone without saying "I love you".... and the first time I've cried in 2 months...

May , 22 , 2013

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LHuq-a3lKOQ&feature=youtube_gdata_player

Basically...

May , 21 , 2013

Ummm?

Perseverance..

Just a worldwind of emotions..

The Greatest Things That Have Ever Happened To Me

Lets see:
1. My Girlfriend
2. My Girlfriend
3. My Girlfriend
4. Oh, My Girlfriend

May , 18 , 2013

"I love you, You're perfect, Now change"

I have this overwhelming feeling, your going to fall for someone else.. and ill just sit and watch.

1 more day..

It came way faster then i thought...

May, 17, 2013

There's always something new, isn't there?..

May, 15 , 2013

Sorry, didn't know that compliments make things awkward. Last time i checked i give them too you a lot. And saying im "cute" isn't a compliment, I've heard it for 16 years. Matt compliments my looks and body more then you do..

Help.

No one can help you, until you decide to help yourself...

May,13,2013

I just don't know anymore..

Date Night

Im actually kind of nervous <3 :$

May , 10 , 2013

My life is a living fucking hell.

I really don't know what to think or feel anymore, nothing feels right, nothing really makes sense anymore. I just feel lost.

I've heard positive things from people, but there's so many negatives, and im starting to believe them all, im going nowhere, i won't have a decent career, im an idiot, or stupid, basically everything under the sun. Though, being a disappointment really hit home. I guess its true, lately i can't do anything right or make anyone proud/happy.

I guess ive just kinda had enough of feeling like the only thing i was meant to be is a learning opportunity.

Im honestly a piece of shit boyfriend.

May , 8 , 2013

Alone... that's all i feel, just alone. Im even surprised that i can feel that, usually i just feel numb, but i guess loneliness takes over.

April , 7 ,2013

Where to start...

Moms using all the money i have to fund her fucking needs, so all of the hard work went to waste and now im broke.

We watched schindlers list in history and no one, and i mean NO ONE, could shut the fuck up for one fucking second.

I keep having nightmares, go figure, it all replays over and over and i can't stop it.

And i feel so disconnected from her.. it honestly feels like were just friends, that's it. I don't know what to do, i try to strike up conversation, but she either isn't paying attention, or too busy talking about herself. That's who she is though, i always knew, but i never really noticed it, till now.

Were supposed to have a weekend together, but i don't really see the point anymore. Were gonna spend it together and it'll be amazing and so on. But i guarantee, when we get back to school, the disconnection will happen again.

I really don't understand what she wants from me, i try my best to make her feel good, and be happy, and hold her, and support her like i was told too. But what's the point if she doesn't want all of that, or even acknowledge it. She has a lot going on, understandable, but still..

I always say "Maybe you should find someone who can be what you want/need". I truly believe, in my heart, that its not me she wants, i mean she could tell me until she's out of breath, but actions speak louder then words. And her actions, they say it all..

So, i know you'll end up seeing this, so ill say what i need to and accept the consequences, Jas, i love you to death and you know it, but you really need to step out of the frame and look at the bigger picture..

The countdown begins..

18 days....